Bewitched, bothered and bewildered

I couldn’t sleep when I realised that he would never come back to me again. I had to make peace with it quickly so I could be sane and move on. I then gave the excuse that I worshiped only the trouser that clings to his trouser. That’s when I knew that I was bewitched bothered and bewildered.
I often questioned my being when I saw that she had forgiven his man even after what I thought was just unforgivable. But I continued to embrace her as a friend. And then I thought maybe she didn’t just adore or worship the trouser that clings to him. Perhaps there was more, more than what I felt for the object of what used to be my affection. But then again I knew I was bewitched, bothered and bewildered.

I’m sure now you have the hang of it. Every sentence will end with that phrase; bewitched bothered and bewildered. Just like the song.
After many days of solitude I often saw good looking lads and every time it happened I’d hear a choir of angels singing W.A Mozart’s Requiem. Then I knew I was heading for a tragic end. These angels sang Lacrimosa more often. I thought that was part of being bewitched, bothered and bewildered.

I wondered if I should leave the country and head for the monastery. Then in my head, I saw monks dancing to the Dancing Queen song. I enjoyed the scene, I always wondered if the wore any underwear. But my mind rushed back to reality. The reality at that time was that I am bewitched bothered and bewildered.
I started appreciating life like a normal gay person. I s there such a thing? Normal gay person? Well, I thought of the Rwanda genocide and how people were killed with machetes.

I thought of how I would survive life under the rule of Idi Amin. Although I admit there are people I wish had lived in those times. Incidentally I would have never met them. And I would probably not be bewitched, bothered and bewildered. But alas! My head plays lovely music scores now. And I am over being bewitched, bothered and bewildered.

Even Satanists have followers!

Let me first acknowledge my friend and fellow journalist Jonathan Shapiro for these exquisite portrayal of Robert Mugabe. And now back to my point that even the devil has followers! I'm sorry but I am just going to make more noise about Mugabe not being sanctioned by the United Nations.

It can only be because Mugabe has followers and supporters. Why in the devil's name would he survive sanctions? In this post I am not going to say names. But you are clever enough to figure out the prominent supporters for this man. His government raped, killed and still continues to threaten people of Zimbabwe. That is the work of the devil. And this Devil has followers!

Some followers are affiliated to this man business reasons, some they want to keep their so-called legacy with their neighbours. While some are just plain puppets of their masters. Please tell me if I am out of line...but this evil man has followers, does hat make all them evil as well? I think so!

Kiss my black hairy ass says Mugabe!

This might be a bit too graphic. But I am imagining Mr Mugabe with his pants down, bending over and telling Gordon Brown, George W Bush and their allies to kiss his black hairy ass! Their bid to impose sanctions on Zimbabwe's leadership failed! The UN security council failed to pressurise Mugabe to quit fooling around and retire to some old age home.

You must just see Dumisani Khumalo (South Africa's UN Ambassador) - he looks like he just got off the phone with President Mbeki. My goodness! Either that, or he wears an ear piece and Mr Mbeki speaks and he repeats! It is just amazing how he gives identical answers to those of the President, when it comes to the Zimbabwe issue. Now we can really come to the conclusion that His Excellency President Thabo Mbeki sorrounds himself with YES MEN!

Sanctions against Zimbabwe would cripple that country further, that's for sure. But that is one solution to force Mugabe out of power....quickly. Liberia went through the same sanction path. I don't see why Zimbabwe should not. And Liberia is slowly getting back on its feet. Now more Zimbabweans will flock to neighbouring countries and become burdens. And possibly ignite more incidents of xenophobia. South Africa's chances of hosting a successful World Cup are compromised by the many foreigners that flock here for asylum!

We have the best interest of Zimbabweans at heart - that's why we were hoping the business-minded China and the controversial Russia would help impose sanctions on Mugabe and his foot soldiers. Damn everyone who voted against the motion to impose sanctions on Zimbabwe! Agh sies tog man!

I didn’t know dads cheat!

And I am dead serious! It occurred to me very late in my life that dads do cheat as well! I always referred my father as dad. I think it’s an affectionate way of saying father. I don’t anymore. I won’t ever again.

You know as children we were brain washed and only shown what was good for us. But as we grew older life got raw, hard and some things we saw as they happened. I am certain that you all have the gist of my story and I don’t have to spell it out to you that my father did my mom wrong, so wrong! Look for some people it makes no difference, or it is not such a big deal. I understand human nature quite well.

But I did not know that hiding things so well was part of it. We grew up in a strong dignified Christian family. I even struggled to get out of the closet because of the principles and doctrine given to us as a family. And I am not by any chance saying that you could only come out of the closet if you had a dysfunctional family. But in those families, I must say, it is quite easy to fall out of the closet. And the reasons are obviously not good.

And now that I know the truth I am starting to over analyse the existence of many things in my family. Even that of myself. Now that we know there are children out of wedlock and a string of women, I start to wonder if I was conceived with love or it was just him being the Casanova he is. I look at my own reflection and I see this very man that I used call my dad. Through that reflection he remains my father. The one that battered my mother’s emotions to the core. So what if the whole world reads this. It’s the truth. The police are gone! My parents, at my father’s insistence, would sweep too many things under the carpet, just so we maintain the respect people are giving us. I want to earn that respect right now by breaking free from that web.

The priest was right when he said to put your trust in no man. I did the opposite and trusted man. I trusted my dad, look now, I trusted Murphy but he betrayed my trust, I looked up to some of my brothers but they also fell in the same generational crisis as my dad. The men in my life are just bad news. And I hope their kids grow up to know that this world is so full imperfections. I hope those kids are taught what it means to be Christian, Hindu or Muslim. They should be given a chance to develop love for what they do and not push them into something that the elders themselves are failing to keep alive and clean.
Hey Kids? Dads cheat!

For Christ sake Vuyo!

Before this blog post I was going to write about some show I saw on casual sex. But I figured just how disturbed I am by Vuyo Mbuli. I am sure you know him, if you haven’t heard of him. Last week when the petrol price went up, Vuyo had a grin on his face and telling South Africa that he filled his tank with over a thousand rand. I’m not being petty; he said it more than twice with a genuine smile.

Why do I have a problem with that? I have a serious problem with people who do not understand their audience. The SABC is one medium that is accessible to most South Africans. Even the guys who bought the COMPACT DSTV end up on SABC 2 because there is just not enough to watch on the R199 crap. Now Vuyo fills his tanks with R1000, a father of three in Gugulethu hears Vuyo’s announcement before he goes to catch a train to work. And this man thinks, my goodness; my family survives on less than that per month. That man’s ego is bruised for life. For all those many years Vuyo’s been on TV we now all know that he has no tact. Vuyo maybe we want to hear about that charity you donate to.

Just this morning (19.06.2008) Vuyo was broadcasting from Newtown in Johannesburg where NGOs were handing out food to the homeless. Good Lord! Vuyo had a look of “I’d never eat that ever”! And he kept on repeating how he had never heard of Rice Porridge (that’s the nutritious food stuff given to the homeless). And when you look at the faces on the receiving end – there was so much joy and satisfaction. And I used the word Joy deliberately because Vuyo means joy. But now when I sit and analyse Vuyo’s lack of tact (among other things) I get no joy!

We so used to hearing this about President Mbeki, but Vuyo Mbuli qualifies to branded as someone who is totally out of touch with what South Africa is all about. By the way Bra Vuyo, you are not the best the SABC has…you just all they’ve got.

I think I know why boys cheat!

Well, I didn't run some three-year-old survey or anything like that. So don't be too judgmental! You know as we grew up, in many institutions, day care, primary school way up to university, girls were there ones expected to behave and be ladies. Boys who did that either turned out to be gay or claim to be metrosexuals.

I think the whole attention given to young girls - which was in a way in a bid to get them to be LADIES and not just women - has manifested itself in many horrible ways today. Who ever came with the idea of insisting only girls to sit up straight and all those things that girls are taught? I suppose girls cheat too, but the point here is that girls will always mature quicker than boys. Boys were left out of a clan I so wanted to belong to. Some of you will argue that boys are like this because that's how it should be. But I believe how you were brought up really and truly alters and shapes your personality.


Most governments are run by men and there are few successful ones. But the first person on the moon was a man. Most prominent people in education, philosophy and arts are men. We only hear about these achievements and not how they led their day-to-day lives. Who would have thought that a man like W.A Mozart ended up a drunk and died a pauper. All because he was "just a boy".

Our beloved Nelson Mandela will probably be the only president that we will remember as the best we've had, but he married three times! And you ask yourself, what happened? I'm not by any means trying to portray anyone in a bad light. But look at Bill Clinton. Such a fine man. Cheated with an intern!

This is probably the most one-sided blog post I have ever written in the history of this blog. But I'm trying to make excuses for all the boys that did wrong. They are who they are because they are boys and not girls. What am I saying?

OH BUMMER!

Hillary Clinton must me yelling "Oh Bummer" after rival Barack HUSSEIN Obama unofficially won the chance to become America's first black president. In my own opinion I think he stands a good chance of joining Josesh Kabila and Nicolas Sarkozy in being among the sexiest heads of state! Yuuuuum! Do I see you nodding? Amen I say!

Now let me tell you the reason why I think Mr Scrumptious Obama might not become president. Check in the first sentence, his second name is in UPPER CASE. Does that name ring a bell!? No? Think weapons of mass distraction or US troops! Okay, maybe think about execution! Get it!? That's right? He shares a name with Saddam Hussein, which means his ancestral name might work against him. I'm not sure if he practices Islam but his father's clan in Kenya do. Americans were attacked on September 11 apparently in the name of Islam! They have since stigmatised Islam. So that is number one! Look at the countries that are always cat-fighting with Bush! Iran, Palestine and some how Iraq! They are all predominantly Muslim countries. And Barack said he would engage in talks with them if he becomes commander in chief!

Americans are still paranoid about being attacked. Barack Obama is black and a Muslim. The history of being black and Muslim in the USA does not look good! Think the times of Martin Luther, Jessy Jackson, Rosa Parks. Think of the kind of hardship they went through - just because they were black Americans. And you think the majority of Americans, who happen to be white, are ready for a black Muslim president. You have got be kidding me!

Look if he becomes president hurray! But let's leave some room for disappointment. I know some of you who are excited about Barack being USA's first citizen are thinking OH BUMMER! But I am just being realistic! There other reality is that he will be facing John McCain. He represents the majority of the white conservative republicans in that country. He is political giant so to say! So, God Bless Barack Obama!

Double edge sword for South Africans

We have said that we condemn the attacks of the foreigners in recent weeks. We also lashed the government for not intervening sooner. But now my fellow South Africans are upset with government setting up camps for these displaced people on their doorstep.

Government erected camps in the posh suburbs of Midrand. And now the residents are up in arms, saying they don’t feel safe with refugees near their homes. This is not doing any good to the tarnished reputation of this country!
I say make up your mind South Africa.

It is either you are charitable or not. We are already in a moral crisis. I don’t think I have to remind you of the uncontrollable rate of crime and the xenophobic murders that plagued this country. Lack of leadership is the root of all this. If people can take the law into their own hands, why can’t we take it upon ourselves to redeem ourselves and live to be being a rainbow nation or something closer to that.